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Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie, Lurks in yer bellie efter a feastie, Just as ye sit doon among yer kin There starts to stir an enormous wind. The neeps and tatties and mushy peas Start working like a gentle breeze But soon the pudding wi' the sauncie face Will hae ye blawin' a' ower the place Nae matter whit the hell ye dae a'body's gonnae hae tae pay Even if ye try tae stifle it's like a bullet oot a rifle Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair Tae try tae stop the leakin' air Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek Pray tae god it disnae reek But a' the efforts go asunder Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder Ricochets arrond the room Michty me! a sonic boom God almighty it fairly reeks A' hope a' huvnae shit ma breeks Tae the bog a' better scurry Whit the hell, it's no ma worry A'body roon aboot me choakin' One or two are nearly boakin' I'll feel better for a while Cannae help but raise a smile It wis him! I shout and glower Alas too late, he's just keeled ower Ye dirty bugger! They shout and stare I'm no that welcome any mair Where e're ye go let yer wind gang free That sounds jist the joab fir me Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party Ower the sake o' one wee farty. |